I know it's been a long time since I've posted something new. For the three of you who actually read this, I am sorry. This semester has been the hardest so far. Why did I think 16 credit hours while working was a good idea? I'm exhausted!
I was hoping to get down to Nashville this week- officially break week. Unfortunately, there is no break for me. I have 3 (count 'em-Three), papers to write, an Italian exam to study for (it will be the first day back from break), and a big photo project to do- all in this one week. Joy. Needless to say, drivng to Nashville is not going to happen in this time frame. And I'm sad. I need the break. I miss my peeps there! The good news? There are only 3 weeks after this break- and I am DONE with this semester!!
In getting ready for the future to become present, I've been trying to raise support for Italy. I use the word "trying" because it hasn't been going well. I've sent letters, I've talked to people, I've had meetings, I've sent more letters, ... I'm not sure what else to do. And yesterday, a friend told me she's not surprised that I'm not going in January because of what people have been saying to her about it. Namely, that they don't see the purpose for me going. That it doesn't seem like a real need. That they aren't going to support me because I'm not going to be saving orphans or feeding the hungry in a hut somewhere hot and dirty. And I thought I was discouraged before... . So I've been praying and wrestling and mulling...Obviously, I need to reword my letter. Need to rework my approach. How do I convey that it IS important that I go to do this work. Yes, it's in a conference center. No, that doesn't mean I won't be impacting lives for the kingdom. I WILL be impacting lives for the kingdom! Just not with street evangelism (which is not my gifting).
This morning, I woke up with a headache. It's the second time for that just this week. I thought about not going to church, but knew that God had something to say- so I should go hear it. I didn't really talk to anyone on my way in- A few hellos, but no real conversation. I'm not in the mood today. My head hurts, and I'm tired. I just want to sit here quietly with God and listen to see if He'll say something to me today. I need it. I'm discouraged. Just as I got settled in my seat, a sweet man who is on the mission board came over to me and said, "Iz, I just want to thank you for your gift of hospitality!" HUH?!
It seems that when I met with the mission board two weeks ago, after I left the room the conversation turned to them talking about how I had impacted more than half of them through my gift of hospitality. At least half of them had been to my tiny house in Nashville! And he just wanted to thank me for using my gift of hospitality to put people as ease and make them feel welcomed. I cried. Yep. Cried. God spoke loudly this morning -and now I know where to place the empahsis when speaking to people about supporting me as a missionary.
A beautiful thing that happens at Victory most Sunday mornings is something called "Victory Circle". During a song, the alter is opened for anyone needing prayer to come up and lay the weight of whatever it is at Jesus' feet. It is so beautiful because no one stands there alone. The whole church seems to pour to the front to lay hands on those who are in need. It is a powerful time. I didn't want to go forward this morning. I don't like being "needy". Don't like everyone knowing somethin's up and I need help. God made me go today. I NEED support to get to Italy. And I can't do it. I can't make it happen. So I went to lay that at His feet. I was crying, so I don't know how many people actually gathered around me, but it felt like there were at least a dozen hands on my head and back. This is my CHURCH! And they stand behind me! They CARE that I'm discouraged. And through two simple things, a man thanking me for my hospitality and people silently and annonymously praying over me, God encouraged me. I will live to fight another day.
And He will provide the support I need to get to what He's called me to do in Italy.
Abraham, the widow of Nain, the Proverbs 31 woman, Priscilla and Aquila. All showed hospitality. All opened their homes (even if home was just a tent in the desert or if the oil jar was empty). All made a place for guests. It is honorable and valuable work you go to do, dear friend. Don't give up. I love you and I believe in you.
Posted by: Shelia | December 04, 2009 at 08:36 PM